What is living?
The El Salvadorian government adopted the slogan “The good life” as part of its political campaign, But its idea of the good life was a farce because it turned out to be the good life for the politicians, not the people. However, we must learn to live the good life, which is deeper than it seems, since one of the purposes of life is to enjoy it.
However, another common expression in my country, “We are born to die,” is more pessimistic. Both are true but opposite, so, the question remains – how can we enjoy a full life?
The answer lies in Parashat Chayei Sarah. Interestingly, the Torah portion doesn’t begin with: “And Sarah died at the age of 127,” but rather with: “Vayihu Chayei Sarah וַיִּֽהְיוּ֙ חַיֵּ֣י שָׂרָ֔ה – And this was the life of Sarah”, demonstrating that it does not exalt her death, but her life. While I was writing this drash, the words of our RANEBI came to mind. He told us, “In order to be born, you must die.” He was referring to the fact that we are all born from a woman, but we develop within a microcosm during gestation. The placenta is our world, and we are comfortable within the womb of our mothers. We are solely fed from her, and we perceive external sensations. Although we may not be aware of it, to some extent, we do not want to be born because we are comfortable. To be born, we must suffer by experiencing the trauma of being separated from our mother. By being given oxygen to live outside our mother, our so-called “amphibian” state dies to become a terrestrial being.
The first lesson I see in this parashah is that Sarah is still alive today in the people of Israel! Yes! She has transcended! The righteous do not die; they are transformed and awakened in another reality. Therefore, although the Torah does not say so; fear of death is not displayed in our patriarchs, but rather they transition from what is an apparent death to eternal life.
At the end of Bereshit 24:1, it says: “שְׁנֵ֖י חַיֵּ֥י שָׂרָֽה” “…shnei chayei Sarah” “…years of Sarah’s life” or another way it can be read is the “two lives of Sarah”. How does Sarah have two lives? I believe that as Wally Liebhaber writes, the keyword is Vayihu וַיִּֽהְיוּ֙ that begins our portion, since in gematria this word is equivalent to 37. Subtracting 37 from 127 gives us the number 90. What happened when Sarah was ninety years old? Isaac was born. That depicts Sarah as having two lives: the first up to the age of 90, and then in her 90s in her role as a mother. Her son gave her a new life!
This goes contrary to the current woke culture that is telling this generation that it’s better to have pets than children. In Bereshit 1:28, when God created man, one of his commandments was: “Fill the earth and subdue it”. Here is a message for both young couples and singles – the present situation does not mean that God is not with you. This widespread fear of starting a family, brings questions and doubts: “Will I be a good father or mother?” “Will my salary be enough to pay the bills for a child”, “I don’t have time”, “I don’t have patience”, “I’m not a good example”, “I feel more comfortable like this”, “it’s very tiring”, among the many excuses. Believe me when I tell you, there is a blessing when the Heavens open when you fulfill this commandment. I can say with certainty and conviction that each child brings a “blessing up their sleeve.” If we are impatient, God lights the spark of patience. If we don’t have money – we learn to budget better or realize that we may be spending on unimportant things…then suddenly the miraculous reveals itself… “We have enough even though there are more of us now.” If we feel tired when we come home from work and see that smile that greets us, a “super force” comes down from heaven and we start to play with them and listen to them. Learn from Sarah; her life was transformed.
The word Vayihu וַיִּֽהְיוּ֙ is a palindrome, which means that it reads the same way forwards or backwards, and that was Sarah’s life. She lived her life to the fullest no matter which way she went. Can you imagine yourself in Sarah’s position? I think that women need security in their lives more than men. In my case, I prefer not to change cars, phones, computers, where I live, and so on; I like stability and security, and dislike constant change. Change activates a high level of adrenaline and cortisol within me, producing anxiety, stress, bad moods, and exhaustion. I admire our patriarchs for living in a constant struggle for survival and continuous change. Sarah was a great woman and wife; she could have been an obstacle for Abraham to fulfill his purpose. Imagine their daily life when Abraham said: “Sarah, listen, I know I’m 75 but God told me that I should leave our home and go to an unknown land that He will show me.” Can you imagine Sarah’s face? “What is he thinking? Did I put something in his soup that this old man should come up with such a story? Maybe if I don’t pay attention to him, he’ll get over it.” How many of us would trust our partners if at 75 they told us that? Would we soon tire of moving from one place to another over the next 25 years? They were nomads; it was a hard life. I think that continuing to live happily, despite the vicissitudes of life, makes for great people.
Another lesson from this portion is that obeying the will of the Eternal or having personal spiritual victories does not necessarily imply a shield against adversity. Imagine, after passing that difficult test of the Akedah, (the Binding of Isaac), Abraham returns victorious, with his son, his soul filled with having obeyed the voice of the Eternal, something that future generations would acknowledge as a great act of faith, and discovers that Sarah, his wife has died! Yes, that was hard, but the ways of the Eternal are like that; not everything is rosy when following the path of the Eternal; this is just part of life.
What does this teach us? Abraham said to the sons of Het in 23:4, “I am a sojourner and a resident among you”. This differs from how others who saw Abraham, said to him: “Hear us, my lord, you are God’s prince among us.” Abraham was aware that this life is fleeting, and that our thoughts should be “What we have today will not be ours tomorrow, why do we cling to it so much”? We are all pilgrims on this earth. Kohelet 1:4-5 says: “A generation passes away, and another generation succeeds it… The sun rises and the sun sets, and it slides back to where it came from.”
I can draw two life lessons from this parashah: First, we must live life fully conscious, understanding that as a pilgrim, life is fleeting but as a dweller, we live it with intention and purpose. Second, we must present ourselves and be seen by others as princes. What are the characteristics of a prince? I might summarize him as a person who does not go unnoticed; he is educated, well-mannered, appropriately dressed, a leader, tactful, gentle, royal, and self-confident, among other positive qualities. On Rosh Hashana, we say: “May we be the head and not the tail.” What are we doing so that others see us as the head and not the tail?
Another lesson I loved from this portion is that we must be foresighted and honour our loved ones. We see that when Abraham learned that Sarah had died, he did not leave her anywhere in the desert, rather he desired to honour her. How many jokes are there about older couples who wish for the death of the other? Abraham had learned the lesson of death, so he bought a tomb for his wife, which was a large plot of land, in its time, like the Taj Mahal. The practical application is that one should not leave the problem of one’s burial to others. From my parents, I learned to prepay for a funeral service and a grave for myself and my children. It may not be a nice topic for a Shabbat, but this is living wisely. Leaving the family to buy a burial plot when we are dead, forces the family to pay Abraham’s price for it.
From this negotiation, we can also compare the processes of a righteous man to a fool. Efron and his people being wicked, initially offered the burial for free. Abraham knew from whom he would and would not receive favours and blessings, so he insisted on buying the land. It was them, who were acting foolishly and who were not fair to him by selling it at an overmarket price. It seems so honourable that Abraham did not negotiate or haggle but decided to pay the agreed price.
Rashi says that the value of each merchant’s coin was equal to the size at market value of 10 current silver coins, that is, 400 was equal to the value of 4,000. According to some scholars, the annual salary was 6-8 shekels of silver per year, meaning that this transaction was equivalent to 50-66 years of work for an ordinary person. With this, Abraham bought the land that today they say belongs to “Palestine” when it rightfully belongs to the children of Israel. Furthermore, the Torah relates that he did it in broad daylight, in front of everyone who witnessed the transaction.
Efron, an apparently generous man, was indeed a profiteer of Abraham’s generosity. In the Torah, Efron’s name is not written עֶפְרוֹן֒, but עֶפְרן֒, without the Vav. The Vav is a letter that links or connects expressions and in Gematria, it represents the Eternal’s ray of Light, that unites Heaven and Earth. The Torah teaches us that this man lacked the fear of Heaven and was a man who did not connect with others. So are all those who are unscrupulous, selfishly seeking to take advantage of others.
Although I’d like to continue writing since I have only developed part of this parashah, I’ll close with a few lessons for living a full life drawn from it: First, life is fleeting, and we are merely pilgrims. Second, to have a full life, we must live with chesed – kindness. Third, life must be lived to its fullest, regardless of the context or what happens around us. Fourth, we must live wisely, foreseeing the future without depending on it; we don’t know if there will be a tomorrow, but if there is, we must be ready for it. Fifth, we must live not expecting anything from anyone, even God. We must live humbly, thinking that both good and apparent evil come from Heaven; things do not always happen as we think are best for us. And sixth, we must honour parents at all times (for example, Isaac and Ishmael came together to bury their father). We must honour our spouse (like Abraham did with Sarah, Isaac with Rivka), and we must respect those around us (as the servant did to Abraham or Abraham to the children of Het).
In other words, let us do our best to live life to the fullest.
Shabbat Shalom
Mauricio Quintero