How can we share someone’s pain without being destroyed by it?
Today our parashah is Chukkat, a word from the Hebrew word Chok – חוק meaning statute or regulation. Our sages tell us that we need to accept it by faith since there is no clear understanding of the meaning. They say that even King Solomon in all his wisdom could not explain how something unclean could make something clean and vice versa.
Our sages say that after Moshe received the tablets the people sinned with the Egel Zahav, the Golden Calf and this was cleansed by the ashes of the Parah Adumah, the Red Heifer. Now, this portion jumps ahead 38 years to where the new generation is about to enter the Promised Land; that first generation had all died in the desert. Here we read about the deaths of Miriam, the sister of Moshe as well as Aaron, his brother, the Cohen Hagadol, the High Priest. We also read about how Moshe would not be allowed to enter the new land and about his own passing. This passing of the baton demonstrates the continuity of life through future generations.
How can we apply these teachings to our lives today? It is important to remember that many of these instructions were given specifically for the times during which they were living, and for a purpose that no longer applies to us today, however, there are principles that can be gleaned. When we experience the loss of a beloved, we might lose the capacity to move forward, the desire to keep living. This is not what our God wants for us since He is the God of the living. The Torah tells us that Aaron was “gathered to his people” which is a euphemistic way of saying that he died. It also contains the idea of continuity.
I see it opening up another dimension in which we are not limited by time. We have all been made in the likeness and image of the Creator and an essential element of that is that we have been imbued with His Ruach, His Spirit which never dies. We are too limited by our two-dimensional vision to be able to understand the fourth dimension. This should keep us humble enough to accept our limitations. Not one of us is perfect despite what religions teach. We live on the earth, not in the air.
Let’s examine the Parah Adumah from this perspective. When you have a friend, who is going through tough times and you sit and listen to him/her in order to bring comfort, you are taking some of his pain upon your shoulders while lessening his. In the process of making him lighter, you become heavier. As a rabbi, I have shared some challenging moments with people during which I have empathized with their pain. It is very heavy but then I needed to digest it and do some inner cleansing. This is the idea of the Parah Adumah.
Although the death of a person represents the end of the physical body here on this plane, it is not a disease that contaminates us, rather it makes us tamei in our spiritual life. The two words “tahor and tamei” do not mean “clean and unclean” as many teach; it means that we are not fit at that moment to be in the presence of the King because we are overwhelmed with our own heaviness. This needs to be lifted before we can approach GOD. How many of us have become so depressed that we think we cannot go on? It is so important to unload the stresses that are causing the heaviness of our souls. How do we do that? It is not always easy but that is why it is so important to talk to friends, relatives, and people who are close to us who can help us. Whenever we unload ourselves, remember someone else is taking it on. It is also vital that we search our hearts before we can enter the Creator’s Presence.
The Creator offers us a better life. In Deuteronomy 30:19 the Creator says,” I call heaven and earth to witness against you, I am offering you life and death, blessing and cursing: then choose life, so that both you and your descendants may live”.
What is death? There are many terms in the Torah for death, one is “caret”- כרת to be cut off, like being disowned by your family. Sometimes there is no way to heal that relationship and the only way is for us to find another family.
After the Red Heifer, we read about the death of Miriam. She was considered the mother of Israel and was deeply mourned by the people. Miriam, Aaron and Moshe, the three siblings, were all very important in the lives of the Israelites. When our leaders die, it is as if our parents have passed away. Our relationship with them has been “caret”- cut off.
We are each important in this world having been given a special role even if we don’t always see it. We can make a difference even though we don’t always give ourselves credit. Psalms 139 tells us that we are each made in a marvellous way. My desire, by telling you about the deaths of these leaders, is to demonstrate that in the same way that they passed the baton to others, we need to do the same for the next generation. That second generation in the desert needed to relearn the lessons that their parents had to learn. The older generation has the responsibility to teach the next generation.
We are living in dangerous times. Society has lost its moral compass and there is a lack of decency. What was wrong is now considered right and vice versa. Those of us who choose to follow the principles of the Torah are considered narrow-minded and blind fundamentalists. I am neither but when I see danger, I need to call it for what it is.
What is happening in the world today? People are forced to submit to the rule of the majority whether it is right or wrong. They follow and accept their rulings blindly even if they are leading us off a cliff. The Creator gave us spiritual eyes to see and we can see the difference between right and wrong.
The great majority has lost their spiritual sight which helps to distinguish between right and wrong and for that reason the Red Heifer can no longer make this world clean. They no longer want to see the Presence of the Creator. They are declaring that they are their own gods and are in control of their destiny. Society is changing GOD’s principles, declaring that they no longer need a Creator, even as they are destroying the world.
With the death of these three leaders, Miriam, Aaron, and Moshe, the next generation would have to learn the right principles from them. If we change these, we bring about chaos and destruction. We need to be a community in which we can share our triumphs and defeats. When we elevate those who are down and bring down to earth those who think they are too high, we find balance.
Are we capable of taking on the pain of someone we care about to help alleviate it without destroying ourselves? That is the lesson of Red Heifer.
Shabbat Shalom
Ranebi