“Life’s Journey is more important than its Destination.”
This parashah Vayechi ends the very special book of Bereshit in which we read about the creation of the world by our Bore Olam and our place within it. We travelled from Adam to Noah and the destruction of the world due to the perversity of mankind, on to Abraham, ten generations later, who left everything he knew behind to follow the One True God to the land which would one day be called Israel. We can choose to take these stories literally or allegorically, but ultimately their importance lies in what the Torah has to impart to us.
Vayechi brings us to the end of the lives and teachings of our forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph, imparting lessons from their lives that serve to make our lives better. Next week, we will start a new book, Shemot, which begins with a new Pharaoh who didn’t know Joseph and the Israelites falling into slavery before being delivered.
I have emphasized how the Torah shows us that our heroes are very human, with both good and bad qualities hoping that we would imitate the good and distance ourselves from the bad. It teaches us that it is always less painful to learn from the mistakes of others and the importance of self-examination to allow us to take responsibility for our actions. No one but the Bore Olam is perfect. Other religions try to make their characters perfect.
This parashah begins with the Hebrew word וַיְחִ֤י vayechi which means “and he lived” referring to the death of Joseph. This is similar to the story of Sarah, “Chayei Sarah” “and she lives”. Both stories begin like this but instead of referring to their lives, they begins by speaking of their deaths. Here we will also see the death of Jacob.
I recently read an expression that spoke volumes to me… “Life is a Journey, Not a Destination.” After coming down to Egypt, Jacob had an encounter with Pharaoh in which Pharaoh asked him how old he was. He said that he was 130 years old and that he had lived through many trials. He believed that he was at the end of his life, and I am sure that he thought that he would have died in Eretz Israel but here he finds himself in Egypt. How many of us from other countries, who now live in Montreal can say that from our childhood we thought that we wanted to live and end our lives here? Most of us at the time never imagined that we would end up here. Like Jacob, we are all on a journey and like Jacob, he ended up in a place that he never looked forward to being.
Knowing that he was close to death, Jacob called Joseph and asked him to swear to him twice that he would bury him back in his own land with his forefathers. Why? Our sages come up with many ideas but as usual, they are defending their heroes. We don’t need to do that. Our heroes are human and can make mistakes. I am sure that Jacob understood that Joseph was the Viceroy and second to Pharaoh in Egypt, but he had responsibilities toward Egypt, and he couldn’t take away the respect that he had for Pharaoh under whose authority he was. Jacob knew that the Pharaoh would have been insulted that Joseph would want to bury his father in such an insignificant country compared to Egypt which boasted about having some of the best tombs, the Pyramids, in which to bury their celebrities. That would later be one of the complaints of the Israelites, recently freed from slavery, when they thought that they were going to die in the desert, crying out “Aren’t there better tombs in Egypt?” (Ex 14:11). Jacob was a very wise man by having Joseph swear twice knowing that the Pharaoh would want Joseph to honor the vow he made to his father. This took the onus off Joseph and allowed due respect to be given to Pharaoh.
They were all allowed to go to Canaan where they had a very grandiose funeral, but the children and cattle remained in Egypt to be sure that they would come back to Egypt. Joseph assured Pharaoh that they would return but a group of his guards went with them to be certain.
On the way back to Egypt, the brothers were worried that Joseph would now exert revenge upon them for what they did to him. They concocted a story that their father had told them to tell Joseph to forgive them and promise that he would not do anything to them. This demonstrates to me that it is important to understand what true forgiveness means. There are times when we have asked someone for forgiveness, yet we do not “feel” forgiven. What needs to be done in order to “feel” forgiven? It has to do with the relationship between the people. Someone may say, “I forgive you, but I never want to see you again”. That is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means we are willing to leave things in the past and are ready to start again leaving the past behind.
They were not sure that Joseph was willing to do that. Joseph did not do anything that would demonstrate this to be true, but that was how they felt. Finally, Joseph reassured them by letting them know the bad they intended to do against him, which God used for good in order to save them and their families. That reassurance allowed them to prosper in Egypt, but the Creator had another idea…their journey would not end in Egypt. It was simply a stage along the way.
How many of us have stopped our journeys and have given up thinking that there is nothing more for us? The Torah teaches us that life doesn’t end! It continues even after death. Later, we will read about the many “maasei”, stages in the life of Israel. The final destination is to be in the Presence of the Creator; that’s how we can know that He is with us right from the very beginning. Our destination is less important than the journey; the importance lies in how we live our lives while on this journey. That is the beautiful teaching from Vayechi. Life doesn’t end…it continues. When I speak at a funeral, I tell the people that this is not the end, it is a simple goodbye for now…we will be reunited with our loved ones after death, Death is not the end; it is only a new beginning.
Did you know that a birth is like a death and coming back to life again? While in the womb the baby is breathing like a fish. When you take a fish out of the water, it dies. The baby has to go from receiving oxygen through the umbilical cord to breathing on its own at birth. This is a death experience until it can breathe on its own with the first slap which brings the baby back to life.
Many groups tell us that we are born to die but the Torah teaches us that we are born to live. “The Creator said, ‘Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life so that you and your descendants might live!’” Deut.30:19
GOD wants each of us to know that our life is important even if we do not think that we are affecting anyone. Our mere presence makes a difference. Each of us counts. We need to start learning that our mere presence is important. We all bring something to our community. We may think that no one will notice when we do not attend and that we will not be missed but that is the furthest thing from the truth. Let us all remember that our mere presence is important.
Shabbat Shalom
Ranebi